I used to think being the team’s agony aunt was a good thing.
I mean, I was the emotional backbone after all!
When they were stuck, stressed, and lost, mama was always there to bring clarity!
And man, it felt good to be needed.
To be everyone’s “safe place”, the one they could count on.
But eventually, over-reliance happened.
The team wouldn’t make decisions without checking with me first.
They waited for me to direct before moving forward.
When I went on leave, nothing moved unless I answered calls or messages.
It wasn’t because they were incapable.
It was because they had outsourced their emotional regulation to me.
Not good at all.
Instead of building strength, I had built dependency.
So over time, I took a step back.
I guided and coached. I stopped fixing things for them.
And I constantly reminded them, “I trust you to handle this.”
Then one day, I was able to go on leave in peace.
Finally.
