Being a difficult person myself, this is what I’ve come to agree on when dealing with difficult people. Including me.
The Classic Moves (underrated):
• Document EVERYTHING including but not limited to every instruction, every email, and every verbal directive.
• Unreasonable people expect pushback, so kill them with kindness. Sometimes excessive politeness throws them off.
• Mirror their communication style back to them in writing. Start with: “As per your instructions on Monday…”
The Strategic Moves:
• Built relationships AROUND them e.g. their peers, their bosses, other departments. Sometimes the best defence is visibility.
• Let them take the credit. I know, it’s painful. But we pick our own battles and save our energy for what matters later.
• Learn to ask smart clarifying questions until THEY realise the request is unreasonable.
The Psychological Moves:
• Give them the illusion of control by offering two options, both of which work for you.
• Never react in the moment. Difficult bosses thrive on emotional reactions. Practice your poker face.
• Find out about their trigger points and avoid them where possible.
The Bold Moves:
• Professionally and calmly name the behaviour. Try: “I want to do my best work. Can we align on expectations?”
• Look for a mediator. HR is a good choice… provided HR is not the problem in the first place. 🤨
• Start job hunting quietly. Sometimes the best move is the exit.
The Petty (but satisfying) Moves:
• Respond to everything in writing even after verbal conversation. Especially with roti canai people. Start with: “Just following up on our chat earlier…”
• Be so good that they can’t pin anything on you.
• Outlast them. Bosses come and go. Tough times come and go. But resilient people stay standing.
Difficult people exist everywhere. Remember, the goal is not to become one of them.
May we become emotional intelligent enough to survive them… dan jangan membabi bersama.
xoxoxo, AuntyHR
