Everybody has their own love language.
Like me, I’m a romantic person, so I’m all about sugar, spice and everything oh-so-very-nice.
My husband though… errr… he is an engineer. So his love language is less romantic but very much practical, like cooking for me and cleaning up after me.
Bosses have love languages too.
Do you know yours?
1. The Micromanager
What You See:
Constantly checks your work and asks for updates you didn’t think were necessary.
Love Language:
Acts of service. They don’t trust that things will get done because nobody has consistently shown them they will. So we need to prove that they don’t have to worry about us.
Strategic Play:
Update them before they ask and over-communicate progress, especially early in projects. Once trust builds, trust me, they will naturally loosen their grip.
2. The Ghost Boss
What You See:
Do we even see them? They’re never available and always cancel 1:1 meetings. You feel completely unsupported.
Love Language:
Quality time. They likely crave meaningful connection but have given up trying to create it. They are probably drowning too and don’t know how to ask for help.
Strategic Play:
When that 1:1 finally happens, don’t fill it with complaints. Use the time to bring up interesting problems or decisions they actually to make. The goal is to make your interaction so efficient and valuable that they want to show up.
3. The Volcano Boss
What You See:
Unpredictable moods, explosive reactions, and you never know what version of them you’re getting.
Love Language:
Proximity & presence. The explosions are often just unprocessed feelings of being out of control or disrespected. To them,bobody was paying attention until they blew up, so they feel they have to.
Strategic Play:
Timing is everything with this boss. Read the room and never match their energy during conflict. Create small, regular moments of connection so pressure doesn’t build up. Consistency from us creates safety for them.
I’ve always believed difficult bosses are just people whose needs were never met in a language they understood.
Sometimes, we just need to just speak enough of their language to make the relationship work for us too.
Think about it.
xoxoxo, AuntyHR
