Yesterday, I was accused of being defensive.
Then I started defending myself that I was not defensive.
Damn. Fell into the trap.
…
Post argument, I sat down and reflect what had happened. You see, like most, my brain is naturally wired to defend when I feel threatened. So I asked myself, what caused that feeling? How can I not fall into the same trap next time? I started sharing my feelings with some of my friends and this is what I’ve learnt how.
Always. Listen. First.
Understand where the other person is coming from. Understand why he said what he said about me to me.
With the better understanding then I would be able to assess the situation better, hence leading me to respond better.
Quoting Travis Bradberry, the author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, “People don’t get defensive because of the content. They get defensive because of the intent they perceive behind it. It isn’t the truth that hurts—it’s the malice used to deliver the truth.”
Aaaahhhh… that also reminded me that I need to curb my sarcasm which often gets me into trouble.
For the next trap I don’t want to fall into is being accused of being a bully.
Bimbo
