POV: PUA Boss

Oh my. Recently I learned a new workplace term that made me pause (and honestly, nervous).
PUA Boss.

Yes, PUA as in Pick-Up Artist.
But in this context, it doesn’t mean your boss is trying to date you.
It’s refers to a boss who uses emotional manipulation tactics to control, guilt-trip, gaslight, or confuse you at work.

With phrases like…
❤️ “You’re like family here.”
😒 “After all I’ve done for you, you want to leave?”
😵‍💫 “You’re not loyal enough.”
💀 “Don’t expect anyone else to treat you this well.”

They start off charming – praise, promises, maybe even “promotion soon…”
Then the tone shifts.

You start to feel guilty for asking questions.
Ashamed to set boundaries. Afraid to disappoint.
And yet… weirdly hooked on their approval.

So how now, brown cow?

Here are some tips:
• Stay grounded in facts. Keep a paper trail. Record deliverables. Know your value.
• Stop craving their approval. You’re a professional, not a contestant on The Bachelor.
• Set clear boundaries. Saying “no” doesn’t make you disloyal. It makes you emotionally healthy.
• Talk to someone you trust. Preferably outside the manipulation bubble. Reality checks are powerful.
• Plan your exit if needed. You can’t change someone’s tactics, but you can always choose not to play along.

And to bosses, come on… Let’s build workplaces where leadership doesn’t feel like mind games.
Don’t be the PUA Boss!

Happy weekend, everybody!
Remember, you deserve a boss who supports you.
Not one who makes you question yourself every week.

xoxoxo, AuntyHR